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I used to go to church, when i graduated highschool i moved out of the youth group into the campus group. It was the worst h 6 months of my life, i have never met a group of people i hated more. Now matter how hard i tried to be friends it didn’t go anywhere, 3 month into it i got really depressed, and acted sad around them, all they said is “depression is selfish” or “suck it up, its not that bad.” I wanted to scream at them, tell them they had no clue, i thought of suicide everyday and prayed to god he would help me.
Finally i gave up, decided god was either fake, or a piece of shit who wouldn’t help somebody feeling so bad. After leaving i went from 30 “friends” to 2 and i feel happier than i have in years. I never felt so lonely as i did with those people, now that i actually am mostly alone i don’t feel lonely. On the surface they seemed so nice, and were rarely rude, yet it was what they didn’t do that was the worst, in the situation i thought it was all my fault.
I remember hearing the quote: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” and thinking they were too nice for it to be true, but now that i’m not around them anymore i realize it was spot on. So for me at least the worst i’ve ever felt, even worse than only having 2 people i talk to hardly ever, is having a group of friends that made me feel alone.
**TL;DR** This quote hits deep for me. I used to be in a church group that was polite on the surface, but made me feel extremely lonely. Now that i left and actually have few friends i’m soo much happier.
Moral of the story: Just because people are polite to you on the surface does not mean they aren’t the source of your depression.
Edit: broken into paragraphs/TL;DR revised.